Tuesday, March 4, 2008

How to get over hating yourself

As news reports indicate, mistreatment of children is tragically common. And kids wounded by abuse can be scarred for life. Fortunately, most people's experiences aren't that extreme. But even mild hurts can fester, affecting relationships and self-image.

The Origin. The bondage of self-rejection can often be traced to feeling unaccepted by someone close. Trauma like divorce or a loved one's death may also contribute to a distorted self-image. Once internalized, this type of thought pattern can lead to negative behaviors.

The Symptoms. If a person has trouble accepting himself, he may have a tendency to criticize others and interpret innocent comments as personal attacks. Perfectionism and feelings of inferiority are also common. As a result, fear of failure and criticism may lead to procrastination.

Unpredictable anger is another outcome of self-rejection. With people who are hurt, frustration may ignite easily. Such individuals might become loners or feel overly concerned about others' opinions. For example, instead of concentrating on a church service, one may notice what people are wearing and feel insecure about her own outfit. Someone with this mindset can be hard to love because she questions whether she's worthy of care and affection. Sadly, she may then behave in a way that "proves" her theory.

The solution is found in today's scripture: Believers are to accept one another as Jesus accepts them. This includes accepting themselves. Ask God to search your heart and reveal any areas of self-rejection.

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